today isn’t as bad as yesterday. as long as i don’t look in the mirror for a long period of time. i tried to stop my mind from wondering to anything that could possibly upset me. school took up most of my time, so i really didn’t have time for anything else but..school. which is good i guess. i laughed more today, and you can never laugh too much .. my roommates help with that, they’re amazing people and I’m so lucky to have them in my life, they really do cheer me up most of the time. i hope i have more days like these where smiling isn’t a strange occurrence. but I’m still failing at the whole being happy only because i have made myself happy not because of a boy. Marc (my ex, and biggest heart break), has been really supportive about me breaking down, he’s usually the one i run to, maybe because I’m used to it and he’s comfortable to me or maybe because i don’t know anyone else who won’t think I’m mental . i owe a lot to my friend abby though, this whole blogging thing was her idea and have to say its really been helping. I’m only going to take steps forward, well i say this now until something happens I’m back 100 steps back flat on my ass. lets hope i can go without a breakdown for at least a week. i mean i made it through today, did well in all my classes, so who says i can’t make it through a week ?